you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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