I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
