Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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