the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
