i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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