roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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