On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
