Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
