oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Randomize
