I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
