He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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