watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
