Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
