I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I think your dad took our porno
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
