its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize