so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
