I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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