Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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