im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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