ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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