I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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