Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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