Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
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