did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
