Me. At least after what I've been through.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
