Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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