The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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