Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
