dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Randomize
