my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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