he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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