I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
