i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
