There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
