I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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