you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize