What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
