I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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