I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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