Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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