I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Hippo gnu deer
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Randomize
