dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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