I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
