The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
