I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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