Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
