those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
