Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
