I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I don't deserve a penis
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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