A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
