I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
