Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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