this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
