Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
