I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
