I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
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