I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize