we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
