If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Randomize
