So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
