i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
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