idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
