it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
